What are the benefits of learning Chinese?

You gain access to the secret Chinese menu.

What do I mean by that? Allow me to explain.

I believe all of us here who lived in an area with a local Chinese restaurant has had the occasional cravings for Chinese food.

You know what I am talking about. Those amazing dishes like fried rice, lemon chicken, fried wonton, and a fortune cookie.

You go to said local Chinese restaurant, and they hand this menu over to you:

You order your food, you eat it, and you leave, happily, all the while being none the wiser on what you are missing out.

The real Chinese food.

You see, legend has it that Chinese is the key to unlocking the true ending of Chinese cuisine.

To do that, you simply need to walk in the restaurant, speak in Chinese (either Mandarin or Cantonese will do), and ask for the menu in Chinese.

You are then handed this:

The difference between this menu and the normal one is that this menu contains the food that actual Chinese people eat.

Unbeknownst to you all this time, you have been duped into thinking what you have been eating was authentic Chinese food. An abominable amalgamation, a westernized dish of the East.

Nearly every single Chinese restaurant I have been to has this secret menu specially reserved for Chinese tourists.

But they are more than willing to let you order from it if you speak Chinese.

So what are you waiting for?

With great Chinese comes great Chinese food.

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